SAD: Society for Academic
Dis-Appointments, members of which are “Disappointees.”
G-4 LC: (G-4 Leadership
Council)
ASPCRP: American Society for
the Prevention of Cruelty to Retired Professors
FART: Foundation for the
Advancement of Retired Professors (The
action agency of SAD)
CADSBAC™: Cedar sawdust
eating bacteria developed at BHI in collaboration with the Center for Advanced
Disintegration Studies to convert sawdust into ethanol for fuel, or glucose to
flavor “Emeriti Chewing Gum.”
ADI:
(American Disenlightenment Institute) Think-tank dedicated to propagating
strategic Disenlightenment.
BHI: Broad
Hill Institute that hosts the Center for Advanced Agricultural Research and
Solar Technology.
BHI Citrulline Tabs™: Freeze-dried watermelon balls as an alternative to Viagra.
BHI Sure Wilt™:
Ointment to treat FHE condition after Citrulline overdose.
BHI Current Fabric Coveralls™: Solar collector cloth that powers tools by the seat
of one’s pants.
Bulger Prize:
Award for outstanding promotion of the Emeriti, “Pension Enlargement Program.”
PEP™
Cedar Sawdust:
(See BHI) also: Cedar Sawdust Mites and XE-80.
Center for Advanced Disintegration Studies (CADS): Dark Matter Lab Directed by Brother MacDougall.
Deductee:
Distinguished Emeriti nominated to the Emeriti Hall of Infamy (One about to be
Deducted into the Hall of Infamy as a Deduction Ceremony participant, and a
certified ILL degree recipient).
Dark Knowledge:
Curriculum of the Institute of Lower Learning.
Dark Matter Transfer Station: Dark Energy Household Trash Disposal Unit utilizing a
private “Black Hole.”
Dimnology: A
special area of inquiry within Disintegration Science.
Disenlightenment: Goal of full Emeritication achieved by employing strategic protocols
of the Emeriti.
Disintegration Studies: Area of study invented by Director MacDougall that
harnesses Dark Energy.
Delighted Unlearning: Method of Disenlightenment; a branch of Dimnology (Used to save money
at ILL).
Demusement:
The ritual ridding of the Muse, so that others may be free to create.
Dementoring:
Process of becoming a non-mentor.
Demiseration:
The opposite of commiseration, required of all Emeriti who seek divestiture of
miserating irritants. Syn. depitification
Demotivational Seminars: A special Emeriti mission to encourage
Superannuation, led by Director Gross.
ELLI
(Emeriti Legislative Lobbying Initiative) Group dedicated to Emeriti Pension
Enlargement
Emeriti Farmaceuticals: BHI Vegetables imbued with healing bio-chemicals and
anti-viral agents.
Emeriti Cliff Notes™: Red leather bound Cliff Notes of classic literature in a fraction of
the shelf space.
Emeriti Hall of Infamy: Ultimate honor bestowed on esteemed Emeriti who have
achieved Full Emeritication.
Emeriti Institute of Lower Learning (ILL): Directed by Chancellor Davis, required degree
for EHI Deductees
ERA: Emeriti
Rating Agency, where, “facts are an independent variable.”
FADI: Senior
Fellow at ADI honorific suffix.
Hamsterization:
Production of electrical power from treadmill technology (Developed at CADS).
Harvard Street Center for Advanced Emeritical Studies
and Home for Fallen Fellows
(Specializing in Gin Detoxification). Official New England Center of the
Emeriti Order, supplanting the Newman Center for Advanced Studies and housing
the Newman Fellows Library featuring, “Table 13” (retired upon the superannuation
of E. Bruce MacDougall).
Obscuranti:
Organization embodying the ultimate goal of Full Emeritication.
OK Spam:
(Organic Kosher Spam) Made from grass fed beef, sea salt and ancient herbs and
spices.
OIE: Office
of Inane E-mails.
Max Planck Society: Provided the framework for the creation of
Disintegration Science and Dimnology.
Emeriti Brothers Pit Stop: Natural deodorant for treating Dementia, BO and ED
with combined ingredients.
