Emeriti Exile: 338-348 CE

Emeriti Exile: 338-348 CE
Exile: 338-348 CE, Thassos, Greece

Sunday, April 28, 2013

48: 3 in One Pit Stop

Emeriti Brothers Pit Stop™: 3 in One Deodorant for Men

LEVERETT-- BHI Farmaceuticals has enhanced its popular "3 in One Deodorant for Men," containing Herbal extracts to absorb and deodorize without the use of brain dulling aluminum oxides and parabens.  It now contains Choline for enhancing memory function, and the patented Citrulline Watermelon extract to combat Erectile Dysfunction. Used daily, Emeriti Brothers Pit Stop™ simultaneously treats BO, ED, and Dementia when applied as directed.
Clinical test indicate no unusual side effects. The usual side effects may include shortness of breath, FHE and episodic non-specific mindfulness. This product is not recommended for men under 55 years of age and should be kept away from children and cats.

The American Council on BO, ED, and Dementia suggest that this product should be part of a conscientiously applied program of sound hygiene and regular bathing.

These findings have been Pre-retracted to avoid messy email exchanges with the renowned Retraction Watch.

Product of the Brotherhood of the Emeriti ©2013

Sunday, April 14, 2013

47: BHI Residential Fast Reactor

Garden Scale Fast Reactor for Neighborhood Power and Heat
Residential Scale Personal Nuclear Power Plant

LEVERETT--  The BHI Center for "All of the Above" Power Options, has developed a compact  Sodium-Cooled Fast Reactor Unit to supply electrical power and surplus heat energy for use in residential settings. It is ideal for large estates or for congregate neighborhood applications. Units are available for 0.5 to 1 Megawatt output. The concrete containment chamber fits conveniently under standard 8' x 12' (2400mm x 3600mm) garden sheds.

Garden Shed Covers Concrete Nuclear Containment Vault
Garden sheds are available in a number of styles for discreet access to the Reactor Vault for annual inspection and repairs as required. The reactor unit is guaranteed to operate while the owner is still alive. Once installed, the unit will provide unlimited electrical and heat energy, with exceptions made for rare nuclear events and fuel rod replacement. Owners will be free of utility personnel snooping around the house looking for meters, and will never need to worry about monthly utility bills!
Be the first on your block to be radio active.

Product of the Brotherhood of the Emeriti ©2013

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

46: Pension Expansion Era

Emeriti Order and the Observable Pension Expansion Era
Pension Expansion Era began 1,676 years ago in 337 CE

It is now 13.8 billion years after the Big Bang (and counting), and during the last 1,676 years we have experienced the Observable Pension Expansion Era (OPEE). Since that fateful day in 337 CE (See above), the Emeriti Order has made significant contributions to the ongoing process of Pension Expansion, which is a central requirement of a Civil Society. Currently, Dark Energy Forces appear to be slowing the rate of Pension Expansion below the rate at which the Universe is expanding.

Pension Expansion Rate (Red Line) after 337 CE (diagram)
Note Significant Decrease in 1984 CE (Dark Energy Onset)
Source: BHI Center for Pension Enlargement Studies
The Pension Expansion Rate Deficit (PERD),  threatens to destabilize the Electro-Thermal Equilibrium, and Emeriti Scientists are developing new technologies to bring stability to this key aspect of the current Universe. The project is being pursued with a sense of urgency in light of the 1 to 5 billion year "Sunset Clause" that theoretically limits the viability of our Solar System.  Emeriti Space Scientists first observed the PERD phenomenon in 2003 CE and have subsequently charted the Pension Expansion history starting with Roman military practices up through the Post Industrial period, and found a drop off after 1984 CE (Randish Dark Energy Onset), and a significant decline after 2003 CE (See Diagram).  Both celestial and terrestrial factors are now being analyzed and a paper summarizing the findings is expected to be published in September of 2013 (After August Maine Vacation).  This is a timely subject for all inhabitants of the Universe, and Scientists at the BHI Center for Pension Enlargement Studies are striving to sustain Electro-Thermal Equilibrium and bring order to the Universe for the benefit of all kinds of humans and other organisms as well. "An unpensioned life is not worth living." (A. Schopenhauer, 1859)

Product of the Brotherhood of the Emeriti ©2013

Monday, April 8, 2013

45: OK Spam

Emeriti Organic Kosher Spam™

Classic Emeriti OK Spam™: handy 12 oz tin serves 6
Emeriti Organic Kosher Spam™ provides your family and the entire world with the benefits of grass fed organic Kosher beef simmered in an ancient mixture of sea salt, spices, and herbs derived from those originally cultivated in King Solomon's garden; “Nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon,
 with every kind of incense tree,
 with myrrh and aloes,
 and all the finest spices…”
(Source: Song of Songs ).

Longevity is another great feature of Emeriti OK Spam™ (however, current products should be consumed prior to 2030).

Emeriti Enterprises, LLC ©2013

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

44: The Symbol and the Cymbal

Symbolic Convergence and Unified Theory
The Circumpunct: An Ancient Symbol Representing
the Sun or Creative Energy Across Many Cultures

Symbols are "unknowable and imprecise." (Karl Jung, Man and His Symbols, 1964)

"A Symbol is an energy evoking and directing agent." (Joseph Campbell, The Symbol Without Meaning)

The Circumpunct is a cross-cultural symbol that evokes the Sun or Creative Energy representing heat, power and light.  It is even more evocative when lost. [See Dan Brown's, The Lost Symbol].

Emeriti Forensic Archeologists often ask the question, "How does the mysteriously Symbolic become Cymbalic?" This study offers a possible answer.

The Cymbal: A Magical Alloy That Harbors Sonic
Enchantment, Which Evokes the Energy of Its Creation.

The word Cymbal is derived from the Latin, "cymbalum," a form of the Greek, "kumbalon," or "cymbal."  The Cymbal is forged alchemically with heat and tempered to create a magical alloy capable of producing sustained sonic resonance when struck with a stick or mallet.  The Cymbal embodies heat and creative energy and mimics the Circumpunctal form.

Ginger Baker and His Cymbals: Utilizing "Energy Evoking
And Directing Agency [Cream: 1966]

Ginger Baker represents "Man and His Cymbals," especially while playing with Cream from 1966 to 1968, (just two years after Jung's book).  His drumming and his Cymbals were "energy evoking and directing agents," (especially during extended drum solos), thus satisfying Campbell's definition.  Ergo: "A Circumpunct is a Symbol, is a Cymbal." (G. Stein).

Sources: Wikipedia/Commons (photos); Emeritipedia.

Product of the Brotherhood of the Emeriti ©2013

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

43: Fall Proof Gyro Wear™

BHI Solar Powered Fall Proof Nano Gyro Wear™
Black Fall Proof Nano Gyro Overalls™ for Formal Events

The BHI Center for Industrial Clothing Design has developed a new line of safe industrial Overalls and associated Lab clothing utilizing an improved version of the famous BHI Current Fabric™.  The new fabric contains synchronous nano gyroscopic technology that sustains vertical alignment of conductive nano fiber filaments, making it impossible for the wearer to fall down on the job, even when sleeping.  Power is supplied by photovoltaic threads woven into the clothing fabric, backed up by batteries.  BHI Fall Proof Overalls™ provide a valuable measure of safety for Distillery workers and standing armies. (On/Off switch is discreetly located in side pocket when bending is required).

Air Bag Vest™ cushions falls if rechargeable battery pack
fails.  It powers devices such as iPods and Pacemakers
The Solar Powered Air Bag Vest provides additional safety during a power failure incident and is equipped with velocity sensors that deploy air bags to cushion landings in emergency situations.  It contains a rechargeable battery, employs Nano Fiber Gyro Technology™ and is a natural companion to Fall Proof Nano Gyro Overalls™.

Fall Proof Nano Gyro Overalls™
Black, Tan, Olive: S, M, L, XL $855.95

Solar Powered Air Bag Vest™
Gray Suede: S, M, L, XL
$1,259.95 now only $1,000.00

Products of the Brotherhood of the Emeriti ©2013

Monday, April 1, 2013

42: Big Bang Holiday

April 1st Marks the Bing Bang Moment and Examines the Uncommon Era Before Time (UE)
XDF image: Universe 450 Million Years After Big Bang
Diagram: Expansion of Universe after the Big Bang Moment
(Note: The Moment before time or the "Uncommon Era," UE) 
LEVERETT—April 1st. The Emeriti Space Science Lab (in collaboration with NASA), has developed a composite image showing some galaxies that are at least “13.2 billion years old,” or just “550 million years* (+/-)” after the Big Bang event that marked the beginning of time.  The Hubble telescope captured the Extreme Deep Field image (XDF).  Emeriti Space Scientists working in the BHI Space Module (See Copernicus Post), have been exploring MXDF (More Extreme Deep Field) images of the moments before time began, referred to as the Uncommon Era or "UE" to mark the moments if they are ever observed.  It is theorized that the Uncommon Era may be the source of strange ideas that seem to persist in the minds of modern humans; They are classified as: “Strange, Very Strange and Extremely Strange Ideas” (SI, VSI, ESI). The currently uncharted Uncommon Era may contain the seeds of modern Social Psychology and Congressional Oversight Hearings (used to hear complaints about lack of Oversight).

April 1st is the most important Holiday in the Emeriti Year, (the second being the VernalEquinox).  It commemorates the Big Bang Moment that began the 13.8 billion* year march toward providing Pensions for superannuated scholars and it also represents the beginning of Particle Science Developmental Social Psychology as a field of study, at least for the Emeriti.  (*Recently revised figure).

Sources: Emeritipedia, VOA, NASA, and Charting the Uncommon Era, EPI ©2009

Product of the Brotherhood of the Emeriti ©2013