Emeriti Exile: 338-348 CE

Emeriti Exile: 338-348 CE
Exile: 338-348 CE, Thassos, Greece

Friday, March 14, 2014

52: Circle the Date: 3/14


“The Circle may be unbroken, but it cannot be squared…” (Old Emeriti Mantra)

Transcendent Irrationality: Early Emeriti pavement design.
(Photo: Holger Motzkau, Wikipedia Commons)
"One can make a square into a circle, but not
the other way around."
(Illustration: Papeschr, Wikipedia Commons)
 The Emeriti have always admired π’s inherent irrationality and since 337 CE, they have incorporated the symbol in manuscript illuminations and in architectural designs.  The illustration shows π embedded in the pavement at the International Emeriti Headquarters courtyard in Zürich (posing as the Swiss National Museum for security purposes). Emeriti Transcendentalism emulates π.  The superannuated scholars are often seen walking in circles while repetitively murmuring, "3.14159," in a barely audible lilting cadence with the aim of ignoring important task that remain undone.


Early Transcendentalism
This early transcendent behavior is the hallmark of the Emeriti, who have been known to say, "A life without π is square."

There are many irrational numbers, but π is one of a relatively small number of values that are both irrational and transcendental.  In like fashion, the Emeriti transcend irrationality by focusing almost entirely on achieving Pension Enlargement, which requires the concept of an actual future.

Remember the significant words of Pythagorus, who once said: "It is difficult to get around without π."

A Product of the Brotherhood of the Emeriti ©2014

Monday, February 24, 2014

51: BHI SPACIBO™ Tabs Placebos


BHI SPACIBO™ Tabs: Ibuprofen facsimile, (left); 
and Amoxicillin facsimile, (right).  
The Placebo effect has been employed by physicians since the dawn of civilization and includes compounds and rituals prescribed in Shamanistic cultures, ancient Greek medical practices, and in healing spas.  The word, “Placebo,” is of Latin origin, and literally means, "I shall please." Its antonym, “Nocebo” means, "I shall harm."  BHI Farmaceutical Laboratories™ has developed a powerful new line of concentrated placebo compounds that have been shown to provide longer lasting and clinically more effective outcomes in human trial runs.


BHI SPACIBO™ Tabs

“Spacibo” means, "I shall be thankful" (Russian, derived from Latin). Patients receiving the BHI SPACIBO™ tabs are thankful for the Gluten free, GMO free, organic nature of the concentrated compounds and for the enhanced effectiveness of outcomes without experiencing any Nocebo effects.  BHI is thankful for the added Pension Fund revenue.

Note to "Retraction Watch:" As per normal BHI publishing practices, these findings are pre-retracted to avoid embarrassing and protracted public correspondence.

A Product of the Emeriti Brotherhood ©2014

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

50: Solar Drink Fan

BHI Solar Powered Drink Fan™ for Evaporative Summer Cooling
BHI Solar Drink Fan™: (a.) Solar Collector,
(b.) Quiet Fan Unit, (c.) Universal Tumbler Clip

The BHI Solar Drink Fan™utilizes the power of evaporative cooling to bring relief during hot summertime days.  Users will enjoy the cooling breeze supplied by the powerful, yet compact solar powered clip-on fan that attaches to the rim of a typical Gin and Tonic or Ice Tea tumbler. Elemental Fire (Sun) supplies the power to evaporate the Water (Ice), resulting in Alchemical Cooling.

The small quiet fan unit generates a steady stream of air, and is equipped with a fine leeward mounted stainless steel screen mesh to prevent unsuspecting gnats and other small flying insects from being launched into the user's face.  The BHI Solar Drink Fan™ is the result of over a decade of applied research at the Leverett Dry Gin Distillery Research Lab in consultation with the adjacent BHI Center for Applied Solar Technology.

A Product of the Emeriti Brotherhood ©2013

Sunday, June 9, 2013

49: XE-80

XE-80™: Controls Dandruff Fallout and Discourages Cedar Sawdust Mites

XE-80™ in handy Flask Applicator 
LEVERETT--The BHI Cedar Sawdust Lab has developed the amazing compound, XE-80™(which is a step above WD-40).  It was originally formulated to discourage Cedar Sawdust Mite infestations but as a result of a minor Lab accident, it was discovered to be very effective in controlling the heart ache of Dandruff Fallout.
While moving a beaker of XE-80™ from the distilling apparatus to a shelf, Lab Director, Dr. Davis sloshed a bit of the liquid onto his scalp and discovered his chronic Dandruff Fallout symptoms disappeared within hours of the unintentional inoculation.   XE-80™ is available in a 4 ounce stainless steel flask equipped with a handy spray nozzle for easy one-handed application.  As an added bonus, XE-80™ may be applied to squeaky wheels and hinges at no extra cost.  Proceeds support the G-4 LC Luncheon Meeting Fund.

A product of the Emeriti Brotherhood ©2013

Sunday, April 28, 2013

48: 3 in One Pit Stop

Emeriti Brothers Pit Stop™: 3 in One Deodorant for Men

LEVERETT-- BHI Farmaceuticals has enhanced its popular "3 in One Deodorant for Men," containing Herbal extracts to absorb and deodorize without the use of brain dulling aluminum oxides and parabens.  It now contains Choline for enhancing memory function, and the patented Citrulline Watermelon extract to combat Erectile Dysfunction. Used daily, Emeriti Brothers Pit Stop™ simultaneously treats BO, ED, and Dementia when applied as directed.
Clinical test indicate no unusual side effects. The usual side effects may include shortness of breath, FHE and episodic non-specific mindfulness. This product is not recommended for men under 55 years of age and should be kept away from children and cats.

The American Council on BO, ED, and Dementia suggest that this product should be part of a conscientiously applied program of sound hygiene and regular bathing.

These findings have been Pre-retracted to avoid messy email exchanges with the renowned Retraction Watch.

Product of the Brotherhood of the Emeriti ©2013