Emeriti Exile: 338-348 CE

Emeriti Exile: 338-348 CE
Exile: 338-348 CE, Thassos, Greece

Friday, March 22, 2013

36: Staff Meeting PTSD

Staff Saver™ Helmets
Model PH-A: Light Duty Retreat Hat

The BHI Neurotrauma Science Lab has designed and tested protective Staff Saver™ Helmets to guard against inadvertent self-inflicted neural insult trauma resulting from palm to forehead collisions when people say silly things in staff meetings.
PH-A Staff Saver™ I Model: provides gentle inconspicuous protection during program retreats typically set in casual surroundings.  The brim prevents forehead contact with tables and walls, while interior padding lessens shock trauma. Blue, Dark Green, Black, and Putty: $150 each.
Model PH-B: Medium Duty
Curriculum Review Meetings

PH-B Staff Saver™ II Model: provides a higher degree of protection required of Curriculum meetings or reappointment reviews.  The Uni-sex design features a discreet brim that guards against table, wall or palm impacts and is equipped with air vents for comfort.  It incorporates significant frontal lobe protection. Navy/Black and Black/Tan: $250 each.

Scientists at the BHI Neurotrauma Science Testing Lab assess multi-positional blunt force outcomes to ensure proper protection for all Staff Saver™ products, at various levels of force.  All Staff Saver™helmets have been field-tested and provide a 10-year warranty.  (Does not apply to the untenured).

Model PH-D: Maximum Duty for
University Reorganization Meetings
PH-D Staff Saver™ Max III Model: provides maximum protection required for rigorous reactionary academic meetings that typically push participants to numerous mind numbing brinks.  This exceptional helmet is equipped with its own oxygen supply and features surround sound speakers and an iPod connection port.  The helmet affords maximum protection from both self-inflicted and externally inflicted compressive insults that might prove damaging to the cerebral cortex.  Unisex Black (for evening wear): $1,850 each.

Products of the Brotherhood of the Emeriti ©2013